If Steve and Mary are having lunch in a crowded restaurant and Steve is constantly looking over Mary’s shoulder, scanning the room for other people he knows, she notices. Mary feels slighted and a bit of trust is lost.
Or, if Mary is pushing to end the conversation, cutting Steve off or regularly checking her watch, Steve notices. He feels hurried. He can tell she doesn’t really want to be there or has somewhere more important to be. Again, trust trickles out of the relationship.
Instead, Steve could stay with the conversation. He could give Mary his undivided attention for 45 or 60 minutes and make her feel that he cares deeply about what she is saying, asking questions and listening. If he claims ADD as his excuse, he could take the seat facing the wall to help maintain focus or pick a quieter venue.
If Mary has a tight schedule, by all means, she should stick to it. She could simply give Steve the courtesy of letting him know she needs to leave at exactly 12:50. She could set the alarm on her phone to give them a five minute notice.
Each moment of every conversation counts. Each moment either builds the relationship up or breaks it down.