Early in our relationship my wife and I had a really tough conversation.
It was an issue of my past, and it kept coming up because I never came clean with the whole truth. I wasn’t trying to hide anything, it just didn’t seem necessary. She knew the summary story and didn’t think the details mattered either.
But pieces of this secret puzzle kept popping up all over the place. I feared this would continue for many years if I didn’t tell her the whole story. A bunch of small surprises over time is far worse than the whole truth up front. So I told her. Everything.
It sucked. But it was the right thing to do.
This isn’t the first time one of us has had to be gut-wrenchingly honest. It surely won’t be the last.
Best For Everyone
These secrets do nothing but hurt.
They can rot you from the inside as an individual and impede true connection as a couple. If you don’t confront past mistakes you don’t move on. You stunt your growth.
If you don’t allow your spouse to hear your mistakes and move on, you’re stunting their growth too. Don’t cheat them of the opportunity to show you how gracious they can be. How loving. How trusting.
If you refuse to tackle past issues as a team, you’ll prevent growth of everyone you come in contact with. You will be less of a person than your potential self. It will impact others. It will perpetuate itself in your children.
I realize this is mostly a personal story, but I think it applies to teams in the office and with customers too.
Everyone makes mistakes, but if you hide them you are just hurting yourself and others. I’ve never heard a story of someone growing by hiding mistakes. Secrets are pure poison to a team or a customer relationship.
Most people seem to appreciate gut-wrenching honesty too. It shows courage and strength. It builds trust.
The truth always seems to make its way out anyway, drip by drip.